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| “There MUST Be A God” | |||
| [© RANT March 1996, 2001 RANT, LLC | RANT Magazine | http://www.RANT.com] | |||
What is the deal with Ed McMahon? I don't get this.
Basically here's a guy that got where he is today by kissing Johnny Carsons
butt in public. Isn't this right? Am I missing something? Did Ed ever do anything
other than this? And where is Ed today? Ed's hawking life insurance
and magazine subscriptions even though he's got millions of dollars!
How pitiful this is.
Fundamentally, Ed's just a PorkDog. He obviously has no life and no aprehensions about sharing this fact with the world. So not surprisingly he also hangs out with Dick Clark. Both of these guys had frontal lobotomies in the 60's which explains why neither of them can even zip their flies without cue cards.
Have you noticed this? It is stunning how poorly Dick and Ed read from cue cards the likes of which America hasn't seen since Bob Hope. Hey, don't get me wrong...Bob Hope's okay in my book but lets not kid ourselves, Bob's a guy that can't order from a Wendy's drive-thru without a dry run. And Ed can't even SNORE on his own.
Dick and Ed bug me alot. In fact, in ratio, Dick and Ed bug me
almost as much as Dionne Warwick. Can someone help me to
understand who is possibly calling the "Psychic Friends
Network"? Can you believe that this thing has gone on for this
long? Are there this many people home during the day watching
Geraldo to support this 900 number?
*THERE'S* your miracle. Forget about telling me about the future, tell me about the present. How is this possible. Granted, Ted Turner and Michael Jackson monopolize a lot of the Psychic Friends time, but still, there has to be other people calling. I want to know who these people are. I also want to know how the hell Dionne is supposed to fit into all of this. Are we supposed to believe that Dionne gave up her singing career because she stumbled across a cult of people that can foresee the future and therefore felt it her mission to deliver this message to the world? Give me a break! We already have Shirley McLain for that.
I give Dionne a lot of credit though for going public and setting an example for what a lack of pride and decency can do for your career. In fact, until Newt Gingrich came along, pretty much Richard Simmons and Tammy Bakker held the store open.
[© 1996, 2000, 2001 RANT Magazine
| RANT, LLC http://www.RANT.com]